pkunk
Questa, NM
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Joined: 12/28/2007
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You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, ratty T shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes..
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favourite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but since you don't have your glasses on so you're not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door...
In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hole? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you?
1999 Coachman Mirada 34 ft.V10-F53 chassis
12ft.LR slide-2 gp31 AGM 12V @220AH
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Hank MI
Brighton, Michigan
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Joined: 10/18/2010
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Pretty good. Honestly though, I'll spend more time cleaning up to go out than my son. I see younger people at the store in flannel jammy pants, slippers, etc. They actually care less how they dressed, at least from what I've seen.
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mowermech
Billings, MT
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Joined: 06/28/2003
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I have seen some quite elderly (as in obviously older than me) in Home Depot that make me wonder if they have looked in the mirror anytime in the last 10 years!
They make Onslow in that Brit-com on PBS look REALLY good!
CM1, USN (RET)
'94 Dodge 3500 4X2 CTD, 5 speed, 4.10 LS diff., Jacobs Rambrake, 275,000 Miles
'95 Tioga 29H Ford-based Class C
Daily driver: 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee Hemi
Toad: 2006 Jeep Rubicon LJ
"When seconds count, help is only minutes away!"
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Jim Shoe
Amelia, OH
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Joined: 02/06/2004
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As I often do, I've saved this. And I intend to tell everybody that I send it to that I wrote it.  It's just too true to not share.
Retired and visiting as much of this beautiful country as I can.
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Crowe
Billerica, MA USA
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Joined: 01/29/2002
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If I'm heading to Home Depot in the middle of a project, I don't give a rat's butt what people think of how I am dressed. Don't wear stuff with holes in improper places-hubby gets too distracted from the project if I do that! 
Subscribe to the 3 "L" rule-don't stop livin', lovin' and learnin'
2004 Gulfstream Endura
2010 Subaru Outback toad
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hershey
Albuquerque,(fulltime) NM, USA
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Joined: 06/04/2003
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mowermech wrote:I have seen some quite elderly (as in obviously older than me) in Home Depot that make me wonder if they have looked in the mirror anytime in the last 10 years!
They make Onslow in that Brit-com on PBS look REALLY good!
Hey hey hey, I resemble that statement.
hershey - albuquerque, nm
Someday Finally Got Here
My wife does all the driving - I just get to hold the steering wheel.
Superman was an illegal alien.
Expedition - Suzuki Grand Viagra
NASCAR 14 - 99
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Captain Pickle
Eastern Kentucky
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Joined: 10/22/2005
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I'm in my fifties but honestly, the sixties category sounds more like me!!!!
Pickle & Debbie
2005 Chevrolet Silverado Crew Cab 5.3L
2007 SunnyBrook Sunset Creek 267RL
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onehorsehitcher
Donna Tx
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Joined: 04/06/2007
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I am at the stage where I have them deliver. How old would that be?
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paulm999
Pala, California
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Joined: 02/12/2001
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In my teens & twenties, I "dated" my freind's mom, who was a teacher, and I never cared about what I was wearing or how I smelled.
In my thirties, I married a girl 5 years older than me, who gave me a speeding ticket, and I never cared about what I was wearing or how I smelled.
In my forties, divorced and remarried to a girl 5 years younger, who worked in the church, and I never cared about what I was wearing or how I smelled.
In my fifties, divorced I only dated girls around 25, who look so great they wouldn't be caught dead working in Home Depot, and I never cared about what I was wearing or how I smelled.
Now in my sixties, my current girlfreind just turned 19 years old today, is a songwriter, musican, and soon to be a famous C&W star, and I still don't care about what I am wearing or how I smell.
If I make it to my seventies, I still won't care, but I will probably have to date my attorney.
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Drbolasky
Allentown, PA
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Joined: 04/20/2002
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Hank MI wrote:Pretty good. Honestly though, I'll spend more time cleaning up to go out than my son. I see younger people at the store in flannel jammy pants, slippers, etc. They actually care less how they dressed, at least from what I've seen.
You got THAT right!!
Doug, Linda, Audrey (USN) & Andrew
08 Sequoia SR-5, 5.7 L V8, 6 sp. Auto, 4.30 Rear, 2000 Coachmen Futura 2790TB Bunkhouse, Dexter E-Z Flex Suspension, Reese W.D. Hitch & Dual Cam Sway Control, Prodigy Brake Controller, McKesh Mirrors, Nuvi 650 GPS
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