Give_Me_Five
USA
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Joined: 01/12/2010
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Wonderful story. Don't you wish more of us could be like Iris? What a better world this would be.
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StanleyandIris
Louisiana
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Joined: 06/17/2007
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Sorry it has been so long since I last updated but my computer blew up.
UPDATE
I held on to the $30 until the next day, advanced $30 and drove the man to the store for a money order to pay the dang cable bill. He was supposed to send $57, the money order cost $1 and a stamped envelope $.65. Although he had sufficient funds, he bought a $52 MO. Don't ask me, I don't get it. I also took him to the local Sherwin Williams store so he could leave his name and phone number there in case any customers are looking for painters. Then off we went to the garden store for more mulch and soil. Despite the fact that he left here with $25 cash yesterday, he had no money for cigarettes yet again. He said that his ex came over and took all the money for things the kid needs for school.
The next morning he arrived at 10:15am and was visibly upset, teary eyed and crying over some argument he had with his on again off again GF. He got very little accomplished and left some trash around before he left, although he put away the radio, fan, extension cords and tools. As he was leaving with $40 cash, so was I. When I returned, I noticed that my radio was gone. Now, it was not in his bicycle basket when he left, so that means he returned while we were gone, went into my shed and took the radio without my permission. I was pissed.
At 8:30am the next morning he called to ask if he could come to work early. He woke me - a huge no-no - (that is why we start our day at 10am). I said "yes and bring the radio back." When he arrived I was waiting outside. He said "am I fired?". I told him in no uncertain terms that NO ONE takes anything from my property without permission and it was not going to be tolerated. Then I told him to take the day off after he picked up the trash left behind the day before and took it out to the curb. $20 and he was gone.
I called him the next morning at 8:30am and woke him. Told him I was going out of town for the weekend and would call him the next week when I was ready to begin work again. It took me a while to get everything ready to leave for the weekend and I was surprised at 2:00pm, when he showed up - unannounced. He said he needed his paint brush as he might have a painting job. Whatever.
I bought padlocks for all the gates and had a great weekend.
He showed up unannounced yesterday at 9:30am, despite me telling him I would call him when I was ready to start work again. Oh well. I put him to task pressure washing the driveway. He worked until 2:30pm, but with the 1.5 hour lunch, the fact that the pressure washer didn't arrive until 10am and the fact that I am tired of paying for long lunches and breaks, he only made $40 and a pack of cigarettes. He seemed ready to question the amount until I laid it out the exact times of his start, lunch and end times.
He was to arrive this am at 10:00am, pre-scheduled from yesterday. He called at 11:00am to say he was running late. He got here at 12:00 noon. So far, he has gotten a deli sandwhich and a pack of cigarettes. At 1:51pm, he rang the doorbell to find out what time it was as he needs to leave at 3pm and was already shutting down for the day. When I told him it was not yet 2pm, he decided to work until 3. He was late this am because he was having a new cable tv box installed - apparently only his telephone has been disconnected.
He has to leave early because his child is coming to stay for the night.
Today was a very lovely day. Not too hot, a nice breeze and quite pleasant. He could have earned $80-$90 today, but will go home with $30. I do not understand it at all. Seems he would prefer to earn $30-$40 per day rather than $80-$90 - just does not want to work many hours.
DH is getting aggravated with him as am I. However, when I look at all that has been accomplished thus far, it is impressive indeed. Furthermore, I could never have done it on my own and DH can not do this type of labor. I have concluded that this little opportunity to make some money is not going to make one bit of difference in the man's life. He lives day to day and seems to like it.
Furthermore, he doesn't listen to what I tell him - such as "I will call you next week when I am ready to start up again". He just shows anyway.
Oh well,
We'll see,
Iris
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marielw824
Swan Valley, ID
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Joined: 12/14/2009
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Iris, thanks for the update. I hope you realize ... we're all waiting for the 'aha moment' as Oprah likes to say. And yes, it's frustrating to see him squandering the best opportunity he has had in his life in a LONG time ... I'm presuming. : ? )
Glad to hear you had a great weekend away.
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StanleyandIris
Louisiana
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marie, I am sure he has not had much opportunity to get any work for a long time. He doesn't seem to be able to, or desire to, pull it together, if you know what I mean. For instance, the flyers I created and printed out for him to put up at the local grocery store and other shops - nada. I have looked for the flyer at the store and he hasn't bothered. Then this am, he was more concerned with a new cable tv box than coming here to earn money. He is still talking about the overdue balance on the cable account - it is his biggest worry. It could have been paid off weeks ago if he would work a few full days in a row, but it doesn't happen.
I have begun to distance myself from his daily stories of a tumultuous life and cable bill tragedies. I am not interested in being his counselor or advisor and I learned long ago that once advice is given and not acted upon, there is no use in repeating it. I keep our converstaions brief and to the point - pleasantries and business only - and then excuse myself to go back indoors.
Today I peeked out to see what he was up to and mostly he was taking breaks for iced tea and a smoke. I know that pressure washing a driveway is boring - I have done it many, many times myself but for Pete's sake - he is the one that is broke. One would think he would try to put in as many hours each day as possible but he always has some excuse for why he can only work a few hours each day. EVERYTHING you can imagine gets in the way of work.
I have several friends who could use a helper like him but I can not recommend him to anyone because he can't put in a full day of work and comes with so much BS that none of my friends would tolerate him for more than a day or 2. I also have friends with construction businesses and could probably get him hired as a general laborer with hopes of advancing to a skilled job on the site (one friend is the general contractor for a new hotel being built) but again, the man's work ethic is lacking. Since he hasn't bothered with the flyers, I don't have to worry about being a reference for any potential future employers.
I think he has wasted a very good opportunity.
Iris
PS - he didn't make it until 3pm (we had agreed that I would let him know when 3:00 rolled around) - he had everything put away by 2:45pm. Then he wanted to talk about his freaking cable issue again, I waved him off with the excuse that I had to rest my back. I reminded him to lock the gate when he left so the dogs would not get out. I checked a few mintues later - he closed the gates but forgot the locks. He needs constant, relentless supervision - like an 11 year old. It is exhausting me.
* This post was
edited 08/16/11 03:11pm by an administrator/moderator *
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Jelly Been
Huntington Beach
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Joined: 01/13/2009
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hang in there iris...its just an "experiment" so there is no right or wrong in what you are doing...just trying it out, seeing how things go. Everyone deserves the opportunity, and you and your husband are gracious enough to provide him with one whether he can accomplish it or not. Addicts have a hard time. Part time is about all he can do right now. You have gained good things so that is good. I wonder if you now go to part time with him, that it will be sufficient for him, or will that cause more problems? Maybe buy some paper time clock thingys to kinda train him about his pay?
Hang in there...I got a chuckle over you telling him you wanted your radio back..God bless ya iris..I aspire to be ya!!!
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TravelChickk
North Carolina
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Joined: 01/28/2011
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he stole your radio
he 'forgets' to lock the gates at NIGHT
working less but expecting more
you be careful. never know. you could be setting yourself straight up into a big world of hurt.
remember the line 'he was a great neighbor, quiet, seemed fine' til he killed 16 people. truly, it isn't a joke and an unstable person can CHANGE on you at the drop of a hat.
Camping Crazy!
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StanleyandIris
Louisiana
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Joined: 06/17/2007
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TravelChickk - I thought of it as a theft of my radio as well and was as mad as a wet cat. I have allowed him to take the radio home on previous occassions so he felt he could just take it. WRONG. The part that was over the top is that he came here when he knew we were not home and went into my back yard and shed. He has NO short term memory, except when it is something important to him, but then again - aren't we all that way?
I was going to give the radio to him as well as a bicycle that is sitting in my shed, brand new and unused for years. Everytime I start feeling generous, he does something that makes me feel stingy.
Yesterday, at the end of his not-so-long work day, he asked if he could come here at 8:00am today to finish the driveway, I said 'sure'. He went on for a few minutes about how it is cooler in the am, etc.
Notably, it is 9:00 and he isn't here yet.
Jelly - it is a dilema for me. I have work that I would like to have done, none of it requires any particular skill and he needs a job, albeit temporary, and has few skills. Seems like a perfect match. When he showed up Monday, he had no bicycle. I asked what happened to it, he told me he loaned it to a friend who needed it for the day and walked to my house.
I can not imagine being in his shoes.
Waiting to see. . .
Iris
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Doug4.7
Hartselle, AL, USA
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Joined: 10/02/2003
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It's very obvious from your updates why this guy has trouble keeping jobs. He is just that messed up. What he needs is professional help and supervision, but alas, such help is hard to get (and expensive). You have the patience of a saint to work with him like you have. I know I would have tossed him a long time ago.
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whimstock
Beautiful El Paso, Texas
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Joined: 08/09/2004
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Doug4.7 wrote:It's very obvious from your updates why this guy has trouble keeping jobs. He is just that messed up. What he needs is professional help and supervision, but alas, such help is hard to get (and expensive). You have the patience of a saint to work with him like you have. I know I would have tossed him a long time ago.
I agree, Doug. He could be bi-polar; he could have any number of other issues, but as you say, getting help is expensive (even if you know where to get it, which he likely does not).
Iris has been patient and has also gotten some decent benefits from helping him, both in labor and in feeling good about what she's doing. So far, I'd say it's "a wash" with no harm done.
When the benefits fade away for either one, it'll be over.
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Pokey2
Bel Marin Keys, CA
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Joined: 11/13/2009
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Hi Iris –
I take my hat off to you for having gone the extra mile – or more - to give this guy a helping hand. At this point I think it’s time to tell him “good by.”
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