StanleyandIris
Louisiana
Senior Member
Joined: 06/17/2007
View Profile
 Offline
|
mockturtle wrote:rolling_rhoda wrote:Our lovely neighbors RV much of the year, taking both long and short trips. The husband has a few rules that obviously work well for them. For example, the wife is not allowed to cook or clean on the weekends. He likes that opportunity to take care of her for a change. If she plans meals for the trip, he does the grocery shopping. Sometimes he does both. He will gladly pitch in with cleaning, laundry, yardwork, whatever needs to get done. They share the work, so they can share the relaxing, too. Just food for thought. This sounds like a far-fetched fantasy, to me! 
I had that dream once but then the alarm woke me up to a pile of dirty laundry, the dogs needing a walk and since it was on my way, the trash got taken out too. But after the walk I had time to make a pot of coffee, a little breakfast and help DH get his hunting gear together before my trips (plural) to the laundry room and I was able to get it all done and the MH tidy although just minutes before everyone returned from the hunt. Lucky me, I was able to serve lunch before their afternoon nap. (It is so much easier to do all the dishes and walk the dogs again, while the hunters rest.) Then before the evening hunt, I get to help gather the gear again. However, after they leave I am finally alone (ahhh)and can prepare dinner, feed the dogs and walk them before the hunters return, after which I serve dinner and clean up the kitchen while they sit around the fire, having hot toddies and telling tales. They are so tired from their day.
Then the dogs and I take our final walk after which I collapse into my 1/3 of the bed to the sound of war or car crashes blaring from the tv while DH snores with the remote cemented into his hand.
Yeah, it's a party.
Iris
|
Birddogman
Pennsylvania
Senior Member
Joined: 08/02/2005
View Profile
Good Sam RV Club Member
|
StanleyandIris wrote:Yeah, it's a party.
Iris
Wow, you sound really bitter. At least you are being honest.
Tough issue. Everyone is different and only you can determine the right answer for you and your spouse. I suspect that many people, even those who tout such unanimity of purpose, deal with this issue at some level with regard to both spouses.
My wife happily goes places she wants to go in the MH – like sitting on the beach and visiting the kids. She can “beach” or “visit” for weeks (even months) on end. I last five minutes tops sitting on the beach and then I’m bored out of my skull – I NEED to be active. While I certainly enjoy seeing the kids and their families, a day or two of sitting around “visiting” is plenty enough for me. After a couple weeks of “visiting” or “beaching”, the skin is crawling off my body. Since she is handicapped and her life is quite limited (sitting around is what she does 24/7), I try to do these things cheerfully for my wife and I think I succeed. Still, after 41 years of marriage, I suspect that she knows how much I don’t like such things even though I try my best to hide it.
On the other hand, I like to go upland bird hunting for extended periods in wilderness places. My wife has come along on such trips and after a day or two of “camping in the middle of nowhere while you are gone all day” (her words), she gets really antsy. Understandable. Like me, she tries not to show it because she wants me to be able to do the things I love, but I am keenly aware she hates that sort of thing.
Generally, since she can’t drive or really do much of anything for herself, I take her to do the things she likes and find ways to pass the time as the days of “visiting” and “beaching” tick by with painful slowness – running the dogs, local shooting competitions, photography, exploring, telecommuting to work, etc.
Usually, just the dogs and I go on the hunting trips. While my wife and I miss each other, we talk/email/skype daily and that helps.
BTW, it isn’t an issue of her being stuck with all the work. Due to her limitations, I do pretty much everything, inside and out. The remote is always hers - I hardly ever watch TV (too many real things to do) and, not surprisngly, it's a VERY big part of her life.
This year, we’ve tried something new. I took her down to stay with our younger daughter (who lives on the beach in Fla) for much of the fall hunting season. She and the daughter really love spending time together; and my wife can be a help to the daughter in her busy life as a single mother of two. In the meantime, I am free to hunt locally and to travel all over the country with the dogs in the MH (still have to telecommute to work). I will pick her up in the MH in Fla after my last swing through North Dakota or Montana in a couple of months and we’ll go home together as the beautiful winter weather closes in on our mountain land and home. It works for us.
Travel time has always been limited, but I hope to at least partially retire at the end of this year and hope to do lots more RV travel. So, I guess that’s a yet another new challenge we’ll need to work through, among others posed by retirement.
2008 Winnebago Journey 39z DP
2004 Jeep Liberty toad
|
flrvman
Texas
Senior Member
Joined: 01/29/2006
View Profile
Good Sam RV Club Member
Offline
|
Remember - If mama ain't happy, nobodys happy.
2007 B+ Lexington GTS 300SS Blue & Grey Ford V-10
2005 Malibu LT V6 toad
|
rgatijnet1
Florida
Senior Member
Joined: 06/22/2009
View Profile
Good Sam RV Club Member
|
It sure sounds like some of you really have a problem with your marriage or your compatibility. My wife and I have both been retired for quite a few years. We are physically healthy for being in our early 60's, so it doesn't bother us to take the big dog for a walk, or to take out the trash from the RV. It also doesn't bother the wife to cook a meal in the RV. We do stop at some of the Diner's, Drive-in's, and Dives restaurants and some historical restaurants from time to time, but she enjoys cooking, so a meal is not a chore, it is part of the RV experience, especially if she can use some local ingredients. Every day we have to vacuum the coach because the dog sheds so much. Same problem we have at home, but because we get so much joy from our dog, we feel it is a small price to pay. Obviously we do have some jobs to do while we are on the road, much like we have at home, but seriously, we are doing those things in the Grand Canyon, or other beautiful place in the USA. What could be better? We also take hikes with the dog at various destinations and consider it an honor to be able to walk in such beautiful scenery. We realize that our time on earth is limited and at any time one or both of us could become physically unable to enjoy our RV and our traveling. I just don't understand how anyone can consider RV traveling a chore, even when the inevitable coach problem creeps up. If you do, you just aren't doing it right.
|
mockturtle
WA
Senior Member
Joined: 05/31/2005
View Profile
Good Sam RV Club Member
|
I, for one, do not consider it a chore. In fact, housekeeping and cooking in an RV as well as doing all the driving and hooking up, which I have to do now, since DH is disabled, still beats staying home. I think what Iris was getting at is that NOT EVERYBODY is an RV fanatic and it sounds like the OP's wife is not. For them, it's just chores in a smaller space. It's either in your blood or it isn't. My advice to him was (and is) to take the trip by himself--she might just need some space, too. Just a thought.
2000 Born Free 24RB Class C
6.8L Ford V-10 Engine, E450 Chassis
2002 Honda CR-V toad
Roadmaster Sterling A/T towbar
VIP braking system
Eddyline Merlin kayak
|
|
|
MusTangFilly
Rockin' and a rollin' in Earthquake country
Senior Member
Joined: 06/01/2006
View Profile
Offline
|
Everyone's different, but maybe it's time for you to do this trip alone. Leave her to enjoy the house, and you go. Not everyone is camp happy. I always wanted to, so I'm always eager to go. It may be that she wants to see these Sunset places staying in a nice hotel, enjoying the meals served to her on lovely plates. I get Sunset too, so I know of those Ooooh, aaaaah places. I always wish they would provide RV campgrounds when they list the places in which to stay. That may be your clue right there. So talk with her, find out where her mind is in regards to going and seeing places. Then if it's OK with her, go..and enjoy!
May we all have safe travels.
|
handysam1
SW, Ohio
Senior Member
Joined: 09/06/2006
View Profile
Offline
|
I'm beginning to think she would prefer a "Vacation" rather than an RV trip. Again, the difference being less work and time traveling and so forth. I think you have to share each others interests and desires and comprimise sometimes. Just my 2 cents.
- 2007 Dodge Mega cab 2500 6.7 CTD
- 2011 327RES Cougar Fifth Wheel
.jpg)
|
Brian in Michigan
S.E. Mi.
Senior Member
Joined: 03/13/2003
View Profile
Offline
|
I have found if you coerce somebody to do something, the start of it may be OK but that will wear off quickly and become troublesome.
1990 GEORGIE BOY 28' 454 4BBL, TURBO 400 TRANS, Thorley Headers B&M trans cooler. Auto meter hooked to output of trans. Flowmaster mufflers
((((Was 7.5mpg Now 8.75mpg ))))
|
rvnutmauve
Wyoming
New Member
Joined: 08/23/2010
View Profile
Offline
|
Absolutely! People have different interests. If I waited for my spouse to want to go, I'd have missed out on so many beautiful trips! And, I've met so many wonderful people along the way. Don't sit home because your spouse chooses to. Life is short - go for it!
|
sowego
northwest panhandle of Nebraska
Senior Member
Joined: 03/14/2006
View Profile
|
From your latest response about her response to your statement about going to those places she saw in the magazine...I'd say she wants to travel but not in the motorhome. Unless she expresses the exact reason for not wanting to go...about all you can deduce is she just won't go out in it again. If that is the case you'll have to decide whether to go out alone and see if she gets the point you can go have fun on your own or...change your travel lifestyle. It's a hard choice and the two of your will have to figure out what will work to keep you two happy and traveling.
2002 Tiffin Phaeton
2005 Malibu Maxx toad
|
|
|
|
