AJR
Close to Madison Wisconsin
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Joined: 07/28/2005
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Being a widower for eight years who moved from tent camping to RVing four years ago so I could travel with my dog and see places I had not seen yet. I had a good chuckle over “I'd rather share a memory than startle the dogs.”. Been there, done that, I know the feeling. Bet you have driven off of the road a bit more than once while taking in a “momentary” glance of the landscape.
Even though my son found his wife on line I am very wary of that path. I guess I’ve been around the internet and computers to long.
May your universe expand in a positive manner down the road.
2002 Damon Challenger 348
W22 8.1 Vortec
2010 Escape toad
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Getup'ngo
Utah
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Joined: 02/18/2007
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Thanks, AJR. I almost ran off the road laughing the first time I startled the dog. I was aghast when I realized how much I talked aloud to myself living alone.
And for the record, I HAVE posted singles ads, and received NO responses. At all. None. And I'm an educated, articulate, attractive and active former professional. I've entered that age when women become invisible.
And so it goes.
However, life IS good (I'll have some cheese with that whine!), I'm blessed with friends, family -- and a new transmission in my motor home. So I'll continue to enjoy my unfettered freedom.
Janice and Kiwi (the navigator)
2000 Holiday Rambler Vacationer, 2 slides
Toad green 2001 Honda CRV/Blue Ox towing system
Steer-Safe stabilizer and Bilsteins all around
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AJR
Close to Madison Wisconsin
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Thank you for the insight. Now I know why when I sold “my wife’s” house and moved to our “retirement” property (my house). And I was told I would find ladies out there in the woods, that I never did! I always thought they were hiding behind the trees! They are ALL invisible!
I learn something new every day.
Peace…
Al
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Getup'ngo
Utah
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Al, that was REALLY funny.
Thanks! j
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wayward1
rockbridge, ohio
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Joined: 04/02/2007
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At what age do you become invisible????
Rick and Kristi (KNR)
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Getup'ngo
Utah
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wayward1 wrote:At what age do you become invisible????
Fifties. Even in my late 40s, that spigot hadn't turned off.
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AJR
Close to Madison Wisconsin
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You become invisible when you lose the love of your life and find out you are not a couple and can not do things couples do. I give Getup’ngo credit for moving on. Younger folks will not understand the pain and lost of self.
Some old friends (couples) fade away. Hence you become invisible because you are not young enough to be looked at as “on the hunt for a partner”. Hence invisible to having another relationship.
Right after the death of a spouse you are most vulnerable to wanting things to be the way they were. So you do things that make you feel like you are a couple again. And you can make some mistakes at that time. I hope all widows or widowers survive that time.
The lucky ones, like me, find what I call “good people” that accept us for who we are. Good people for me are more than friends. They are part of my new family that lives life, loves each other and laughs together and does silly things together like cut wood every spring. We may be thousands of miles apart but still hug each other on sight.
Some folks call people like this real friends but I call each one in my mind “good people”. Oh I still have my kin. My grandson stands out because my wife never got to see him. I love all of my kin but I also love my “good people” just as much. To them I am just me and not invisible.
I need special goggles for these woods!
Al
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Getup'ngo
Utah
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Al, you sound like someone who has been there. What you describe is an act of creation, of building a family around you.
For me, being "invisible" as a widow is like being demoted from a vowel to a comma in the sentences of others' lives. You help shape things but people can run-on without you.
But these demotions occur within relationships. Some subordinate themselves to spouses and children and simply become apostrophes in others' sentences.
Just wanted to punctuate my point. 
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frank henn
jackson, mississippi
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I understand what you are going thru... I lost my first wife in 2001 and I thought the world had ended we were together 28 years, and she went way too young at the age of 52. After the first shock, you discover that you no longer are invited to couple things, as some said very well you become invisible. Your kids have their lives going, and was and still is my policy to not interfer with their lives and not put my self in their activites. It was just me and the dog. I tried the internet scene but nothing ever happened there. One day I was driving buy a bar and they were advertising a band that I had heard about, and never got around to hearing them, stopped in got a table it soon filled up and a couple of ladies asked if the could sit in the empty chairs. To make a long story short one of those lady's and I tied the knot a year later. I have been bless twice now. I guess what I am saying is just sit back go to events that you so choose and some where there will be some one out there for you
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Getup'ngo
Utah
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What a nice story, Frank. When my DH died unexpectedly, I knew that all of those who said, "If you need anything, call me!" would just go on with their lives and it was up to me to find the support I needed. So I broadened my base, as it were, and found LOTS of people to talk to ... so as not to "wear out" anyone -- especially those closest to me.
I may not have a sweetie now, but I do have a loving circle of family and friends who don't wince when they see my name on their caller IDs. No small deal.
EDIT: hMMM ... or is that "callers ID," like "attorneys general" and "mothers-in-law?"
* This post was
edited 01/22/10 12:42pm by Getup'ngo *
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