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 > My Mom died today.

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travelnutz

West Michigan - On the Lakeshore

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Posted: 02/08/14 04:28pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Sorry to hear of your loss. My Dad died in 1992 and my Mom in 1995 and I still miss so much them every day even though I'm already 72 myself now. I was so lucky to have had such wonderful parents until in their mid 80's after over 62 years of marriage. Both died of cancer Dad - blood leukemia and Mom - cancerous brain tumor developed from a fall down the stairs years earlier) but both were sharp as a tack until almost the end. Dimentia would have been much worse!

My precious wife of over 52 years now always says my Mom was a real "Saint" and I couldn't agree more! They'd taught me to try to be as good a person, parent, and husband as I could possible be each and every day and how could I ever thank them enough. So humbling and the many memories of both are golden...


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wa8yxm

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Posted: 02/08/14 04:42pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Lost my mother back in 1994, Dad in 1995, Wife last Easter.. It is never easy,, My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time.. Nothing more I can say.

covetsthesun

missouri

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Posted: 02/08/14 05:06pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Thank you all. This forum has been my "go to place" for so many things over the years. From finding a recipe...to help with my Dad's illness... to just about any question I had. I just felt like I needed to come here again for this. Thank you for the kind words and the comfort given.

much appreciated

Deb (cts)

JayGee

Tennessee

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Posted: 02/08/14 05:26pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Lost my Mom after a long bout of dementia, I say that with compassion for your experience, not mine. So sorry for your loss and I know what it was for me to give up my Mom several years before her passing. Very sorry for your loss.


Jaygee

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PawPaw_n_Gram

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Posted: 02/08/14 06:12pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Very sorry to hear of her passing. Losing Mom hurts no matter the circumstances of her final illness.

Mine passed in 2008, after 13 years in nursing homes with Alzheimer's. She probably only lasted that long because Dad was able to visit her almost every day, fed her usually two or three meals, gave the staff heck about caring for her.

I remember the last time she really knew me - it was in 1993 the day after Thanksgiving.

Watching her decrease for so many years was very hard on the six of us, but it was still both a shock, and a relief, when she was finally gone.

I have to say she was the only person I've ever seen who really looked better, more peaceful at the viewing.


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Crowe

Billerica, MA USA

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Posted: 02/08/14 06:58pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

I am so sorry for your loss. Lost my husband's father in 1984, my mom in 1991 (both from cancer), and my dad, who I was estranged from, in 2011. The mixed emotions are normal. I'd be more worried if you didn't feel anything. On one hand you still want them around. On the other you know in your heart they are in a better place. Almost every one of us has gone through the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" routine. Even if you should have, even if you could have, and no matter what you would have done had you known how you'd feel, it can't change anything so please don't beat yourself up. It may take some time to feel at peace with everything but it will come. Take comfort in knowing you are not alone.


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RV-less for now but our spirits are still on the open road.

camperforlife

Midwest

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Posted: 02/08/14 07:53pm Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Please accept my condolences. I can relate to your feelings. My dad passed suddenly a couple years after he retired. He had started hanging out at my business and I felt like I was just really getting to know and appreciate him. I was devastated and really felt cheated by his death. Mom was ill for several years and was never the same after dads death. When she passed it was a relief.

You can love both parents equally yet experience their loss on completely different levels. Grief is so personal and no one can tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. My advise is if you can't shake the grief and it begins to affect your life, seek help. I struggled with my dads death for a couple years, it affected my business and my home life. Take care of yourself, you will persevere.

Deb and Ed M

SW MI & Space Coast, FL USA

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Posted: 02/09/14 09:14am Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

My situation was very similar - in 2002, my sister and Mom moved to CA amid some family drama; and since my Mom had lost her eyesight due to diabetes, my sis took good care of her. Mom and I weren't especially close to start with, so it wasn't particularly hard to have only seen her twice since '02 (although we talked more frequently on the phone). When Mom passed in August 2012, I was sad but not traumatized; she wasn't a daily part of my life. My sis struggled, though.... and the loss of Mom's income was devastating for her, too. Finally, in Jan 2013, I bought a house and brought my sis and her family back home to Michigan. Maybe I'm paying homage to my Mom by taking care of my sis - but I'm really glad to have her nearby.

I think there's always a "little kid" in our brains who's traumatized by losing a parent; but if they haven't been a close part of our lives, either by distance or disability; it's normal to not be overly distraught. And I DO believe that in many cases (my Dad has Alzheimer's) - death frees them to be "with us" again??

fireman93514

Fallon NV

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Posted: 02/09/14 10:45am Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Very sorry for your loss. We will add you to our prayers. You just have to remember she has gone on to a better place and is with her husband once again. I lost my mother about two years ago. I still think about her.


John & Judy
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down home

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Posted: 02/09/14 10:46am Link  |  Quote  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

I'm so sorry for your loss. Mother went on in 09. She had Alzeheimers, so I kinda know some of what you and family went through.
God Bless and smile on all of you.

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