Photo01
Alberta, Canada
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Saw this on another forum and thought I would post it here.
Please do not take offense at anything mentioned below:
The difference between the North and the South - clearly explained.... at last
The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.
The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives, the South has .45's.
The North has double last names, the South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.
North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.
The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.
In the north if you order ice tea they take hot tea and add ice.
In the south if you order hot tea they take ice tea and heat it up.
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .....
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do NOT buy food at this store.
Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big ol,' truck or 'big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Here, hold my beer; y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way.
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year old's own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mamas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners.
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
We don't give a damn how you did it up north.
Do you know why you never ask anyone where they are from?
If they are from Texas, you will know it.
If they are not, please don't embarrass them by asking.
* This post was
edited 02/22/11 08:04am by an administrator/moderator *
1999 Fleetwood Southwind 34N on F53 Chassis, V-10
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3 dog nights
Central, Virginia USA
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Joined: 09/25/2003
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How did Texas get in with all of this fine southern information?
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MikeSmith
Camp Host, Republic of Texas
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Joined: 07/17/2004
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Because that list used to be called:
"The difference between Texas and the rest of the world - clearly explained.... at last"
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Dannytoo
Benbrook, Texas
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3 dog nights wrote:How did Texas get in with all of this fine southern information?
We invented all of it including being needed at the grocery store in case of snow.
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mowermech
Billings, MT
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Joined: 06/28/2003
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Much of that list applies to Montana.
In Spades!
CM1, USN (RET)
'94 Dodge 3500 4X2 CTD, 5 speed, 4.10 LS diff., Jacobs Rambrake, 275,000 Miles
'95 Tioga 29H Ford-based Class C
Daily driver: 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee Hemi
Toad: 2006 Jeep Rubicon LJ
"When seconds count, help is only minutes away!"
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WindsorJ
Brandon, Miss
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Man, I love it. Heck, I was 28 years old before I found out that 'damn' and 'yankee' was two different words. And to me anything north of Hwy 80 is Yankee.
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E.Texan
Terrell, Tx (east of Dallas)
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Joined: 03/25/2003
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WindsorJ wrote:Man, I love it. Heck, I was 28 years old before I found out that 'damn' and 'yankee' was two different words. And to me anything north of Hwy 80 is Yankee.
 Ditto.
E.Texan
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fishinrgv
NW Indiana for the time being
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WindsorJ wrote: And to me anything north of Hwy 80 is Yankee.
I always thought it was anywhere north of I-10. Now being transplanted to Tennessee; boy was I mistaken.
Geaux Tigers...1958,2003 (I attended that game,) 2007, football National Champs
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Charlie D.
Golden Triangle-E. Texas
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Fishin, north of I-10 and they are called "redbones" don't know why. I always thought the south was anything south of the Mason-Dixon line.
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robsouth
Covington, GA
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Y'all don't be tryin to fool a real sutherner now, ya heah?
"Sometimes I just sit and think. Sometimes I just sit." "Great minds like a think."
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